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July/August

June 24, 2004

JULY/AUG 
 
 
Secretary's Notes (Editorial) 
Last time I ended at JAN 3. I got up to a 
Finnish breakfast of porridge and pastries. I 
enjoy the milk, and the water is crystal clear. 
We donned our clothes and it was off to Santa 
Land. It is really a neat place. There is a long 
tunnel that is carved into solid rock that 
terminates in an area that is much like Disney 
World. We went on the sleigh ride, which 
wound around the various shops that were 
filled with elves doing various tasks. 
Then I stopped off at the bulletin board that 
posted the most interesting letters to Santa 
from around the world. It told me that on an 
average day Santa receives 36,000 letters and 
requests. Many were hilarious, it is amazing 
that children are so ingenious. The addresses 
were as varied. Some had the north pole, 
others had various other names, but they all 
had reached Santa and here they were.  
The requests were as interesting, some that 
came from Africa, Turkey, England and many 
European countries, had some unusual 
requests. I read some of those that came from 
the US to see what type of children made the 
requests and how they expressed it. 
I also rode on the Rudolf express and my 
daughter took pictures of it. It is very difficult to take 
pictures 
when it moves so fast. I will end my travels here. I will 
post 
this on the Web Site. There are many important matters to 
discuss. I ask that all members who have been sending 
messages continue to do so. 
Dave has changed a few things, I find it very 
interesting. 
We have had a sufficient number of hits on our site, there 
has 
been no complaints this year. I missed their message 
related to 
payment for the site, I forwarded it to Dave. I will send 
them 
my credit card numbers as soon as matters are straight. 
I have been a part of Mayo Clinic's research program. 
It 
hopes to prove that Alzheimer's is subject to genes. I did 
well 
on the more complex portions of the program, less so on the 
easy parts. Maybe I didn't try hard enough. I am ready for 
phase two. They have two great programs, one for 
Alzheimer's and the other for Parkinson disease. Of which, 
 
called Col Dorrer. I owe a debt of gratitude to Walter, he 
sent 
all those photos that are on the site, as well as in my 
album. 
He has provided many of the stories, and i have a box full 
of 
funny stories that will be released in the future. Thanks 
for all 
the information, I will call you next month after I come 
home 
from another trip. 
I hope everyone is saving their pennies for that 49th 
Reunion 
in Vegas. I have my ticket already so I'll be there God 
willing. 
I have several trips planned so I will be busy all summer, 
and I 
may be able to get a lot of fodder for my newsletters. Have 
 
great Summer. John 
 
 
ORGANIZATION CONSISTS OF FORMER, 
PRESENT AND FUTURE MEMBERS OF: 
7TH PURSUIT SQUADRON; 49TH 
FIGHTER GP PRESIDENT: Kathleen Bush; 
2223 Colfax; Flint, MI; VICE PRESIDENT: 
Eldon Breazier; 1130 North Pine; Kingman, KS 
67068-1439 SECY/ TREAS: John Plosila 
183 SWAN LAKE DR; MELROSE, FL 32666- 
3065 (352) 475-5680. e-mail--- 
jplosila@juno.com; Web Site: 
www.7fs.cityslide.com;  
We have a link to the 9th Web Site.  
 
49th News 
 
A notice arrived from Bill Schultz that says, Nellis 
AFB can't assist in the problem of busses, So it is 
essential that they have numbers. They expect to 
mail full schedule by the end of June. They think 
the registration fee to be the same as last year. 
They are still working on what all this is going to 
cost. NAFB is co-operating, they can't (or won't) 
provide busses for us. The Questionnaire should 
insure they hire the right amount of busses for the 
various functions. Yucca Mountain provides their 
own transportation, so they don't have to worry 
about that one. 
 
The registration forms should be out in a couple of 
weeks, with costs, descriptions, etc. Hope to see 
you in Las Vegas, and thanks for passing our 
information on to the 7th guys not on our list. 
Thanks Bill, I have it on my list, God willing.  
 
5TH AF NEWS  
The 5th AF 2004 reunion will be held at the 
Imperial Palace, Las Vegas, NV from October 26 
to October 29th. The room reservation number is 1- 
800-800-2981. Mention F.A:M:F: when applying 
for a room. All rooms must be reserved by 
September 1, 2004. The special rate is $75.00 + 
tax per day for either a single or double..The 
reception is on October 26th, 5-9 pm. The meeting 
is on October 27th from 9 am to 12 pm. There are 
two free days to browse and have a great time. You 
must provide your own transportation. Check in 
time at the hotel is 3 pm Check out time is 12 pm.  
Sorry, I had a typo in the e-mail address for Atch. 
Sorry about that, There should only be one "L" in 
Oliver. No wonder members had a problem. A 
hundred lashes with a wet noodle, OK?  
++++++++++++++++ 
They are still looking for someone to host the 
2005 reunion. Any takers? 
 
CARDS LETTERS AND CALLS 
I called Kathleen Bush to tell her that the Protect 
and Avenge history book arrived. This time she 
was home. We had a long talk about various 
members. She tells me that she doesn't plan to 
stay in Flint for another winter. Thanks a bunch 
Kathleen, hope you find a place that's warm. 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++ 
Again, there were a lot of messages from Al 
Meschino. In the first one he tells us that his wife 
is on the sick list. In the next message, his wife 
has suffered a heart attack. He tells me that he had 
contacted Bob De Haven,. Thanks a bunch Al. Al 
has also sent a lot of stories to use, we are very  
grateful. He wont be able to be in daily touch.  
++++++++++++++++++++ 
This message came to me via Ken Clark. Does 
anyone remember this member? Here are Ron 
Stone's own words: This is an inquiry about a 
possible post. My time with the 49th was in the 
late 40's at Misawa. I was in the 7th and part of 
the time in Hq , attached to the 7th. I would be 
interested in hearing about or contacting several 
folks, primary among them being Warren K. 
Bennett, then Capt. As I recall he flew Mike's 
Kite one of the blue noses. I worked for him in 
Fighter Group Hq when he was Group Adjutant 
and later crewed his plane after the transition  
from P 51s to F 80s was complete. A one 
enlistment volunteer of extreme youth, I never 
made it past Sgt. I think I still have a few pictures 
from those times. I left Misawa to come home for  
refresher courses at Stewart Field in NY, the 
USMA Prep School, 1802nd Sp Rgmt (I think),  
failed the eye test handsomely and finished my 
time at Andrews on 20 June 1950. There aren't a 
lot of postings, but I'd like to give it a try. Please 
tell me if there is any special format or content 
you prefer. By the way, I just discovered your 
site. Speaking as a 73 year old computer duffer, I 
think it is super ! Ron Stone Sacramento, CA 
++++++++++++++++++++ 
In the last issue I told you that Ruth Holleman had 
died. Now Ben is lonely and is looking for a room 
mate. I had along talk with Ben, he has called a 
number of our old buddies, I appreciate that. He 
said he had talked with our Squadron President, 
Kathleen Bush and to others. I am glad you did 
Ben. We need to keep in contact with our buddies.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++ 
There was a letter from a letter, photo, story and a 
contribution form Gene Pollack. Thanks Gene. It 
has been a while since Gene has written so we are 
so glad. I would print Gene's picture except that 
my printer has a problem with photos. There are 
times when they go through but most of the time it 
goofs and I wind up with a lot of wasted paper.. 
+++++++++++++++++++ 
Super Dave, has posted a recent picture of myself 
for those new member who requested it and were 
wondering about who the newsletter writer is. 
Yup! It's me, photo taken in early June. It is 
adjacent to John P's pictures on our web site.. 
Jason, eat your heart out, ha! Ha! I don't have the 
other stuff for you.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++ 
Again, there were many messages from Australia. 
Super Dave has been good enough to post these as 
well as e-mail them to me.  
+++++++++++++++ 
Gene Pollack was at the dedication of the WWII 
memorial. We are glad that we can share his warm 
information, many were unable to attend. Here is 
what he said: Wow! What a fantastic weekend! 
Three days devoted to the celebration of the 
dedication of the National WWII Memorial. The 
National Mall was covered with over 150,000 
chairs for which a ticket was required. There was 
standing and sitting room provided in other areas. 
There were giant TV screens, entertainment tents, 
stages, a reunion tent for posting all personal 
messages and information for your outfit. (Did you 
post a message for the 7th?) Each outfit's message 
is under the sign in hopes of connecting with old 
comrades. (He asks where were we?) There was a 
story tent for war tales, and code takers, a venue 
for dancing, a big band stage with the Presidents 
Marine Corps Band playing songs from the 40's 
among many other bands. At the conclusion of 
many programs, the orchestra played a medley of 
service songs, and veterans from each service 
were invited to stand for recognition. There was 
tremendous applause for the old service men as 
each song rang out and they stood at attention. 
 
Everywhere a veteran walked, someone would 
want to shake his hand and say, "Thanks for your 
service." Anyone who could take that kind of 
attention and gratitude without a tear is tougher 
than me. 
 
The dedication itself began Saturday at noon with 
thousands seated at the viewing screens. Bands, 
orchestras, and vocalists performed WWII vintage 
songs, interspersed with actual film clips of the 
war until 2:00 pm when the speakers began. Tom 
Brokaw, who coined the phrase, "The Greatest 
Generation" (a phrase heard many times during 
the three days.), Bob Dole, Tom hanks, the 
director of the Post Office Department, who 
dedicated a new stamp of the WWII Memorial, 
and finally President Bush paid tribute to the 
veterans. More tears were shed as each person 
there recalled the sacrifices of many and the loss 
later of two thirds of those of us who survived the 
war. 
 
After the ceremony Aggie and I visited the 
Lincoln and FDR Memorials. The FDR is the 
most impressive. On Sunday after the dedication, 
Washington was inundated with the rolling 
Thunder Motorcycle Club. Over 200,000 motor- 
cyclists gathered at the parking lot of the 
pentagon starting at six in the morning, and at 
noon the parade began. They passed the Lincoln 
Memorial and drove around the Mall. At 3 pm 
they were still coming out of the parking lot, and 
almost every square foot of the Mall and 
surrounding area was covered with parked bikes. 
They were riding the Viet Nam Vets and MIA- 
POW's, a ceremony was held at the Viet Nam 
Memorial. 
 
By the time we arrived at the WWII Memorial, it 
was so packed that it was difficult to move. Many 
more handshakes, conversations and tears followed 
by another excellent concert of the Marine Corp 
Orchestra ended the day for us. The weekend was 
certainly the most moving andmemorable of my 
life, and Aggie was equally moved. The entire 
weekend was called:"Tribute To A Generation!" 
 
On the aircraft trip home a young father, his son 
and wife sat in front of us. He was reading a 
magazine devoted entirely to the P-40. I told him I 
flew a P-40 in the war and he asked many 
questions. He wanted to know what I did, and 
where I was. When we got off the plane he asked if 
his wife could take a picture of us together.  
 
Thanks Gene, he noted that he did not find any 
names of 7th members or 49th registered. We can 
visit the site at: www.wwiimemorial.com 
 
CONTRIBUTIONS 
It seems that we neglected to acknowledge the  
contributions from Jim Cogar, sorry about that 
Jim. We appreciated your check and will try to 
use it wisely. Every contribution to our war 
chest is needed. 
+++++++++++++++++ 
Gene Pollack also fattened our war chest, 
thanks a million Gene. Gene has mailed a photo 
in the past, thanks. Should I offer a small 
premium for a contributions? Suggestions. 
 
REFLECTIONS OF THE PAST 
 
MAJOR MCGUIRE TOP ACTIVE ACE, 
KILLED IN ACTION 
 
Major Thomas McGuire, the nations leading active 
ace with thirty-eight Japanese planes to his credit, 
was shot down and killed in the Philippines on 
January 7, 1945. 
 
His father, an automobile dealer in Ridgewood and 
Patterson, NJ was informed of his son's death in a 
telephone call from the Major's wife in San 
Antonio, TX. She received notification in a letter 
from Lt. General George C. Kenny, commanding 
Allied Air Forces in the Pacific. 
 
Only twenty three years old, Major McGuire 
blazed a record in the smoking Pacific skies 
surpassed only by that set by his good friend 
Major Richard Bong. 
 
This article is from the St. Louis Dispatch  
 
LEADING PACIFIC ACE KILLED IN 
PHILIPPINES 
 
SAN ANTONIO TEXAS, JANUARY 17, 1945--- 
Major Thomas B. McGuire Jr. of San Antonio and 
Ridgewood New Jersey, the nations leading active 
ace with 38 Japanese planes to his credit, was shot 
down and killed in the Philippines January 7.  
Gen. George C. Kenny, commanding Allied Air 
Forces in the Pacific, informed Mrs McGuire in a 
letter Jan. 8. 
 
Mrs. McGuire received Kenny's letter today. The 
Allied air chief said that the words: "McGuire 
shot down", brought him the worst of a number of 
bad moments he has had to face since the war 
began. 
 
Kenny's letter indicated that McGuires plane was 
in some way disabled in the air, making him easy 
prey to defending Japanese fighters. 
 
McGuire became the leading ace when Maj 
Richard Bong of Poplar, WI was returned to the 
states on leave. Bong is credited with downing 40 
Japanese planes. 
*************************************** 
DIARY (continued) 
JANUARY 25th 
The spell is broken and we have had nothing but 
rain all day and evening, consequently I am not in 
too good a mood. Little of interest has occurred 
so I shall not waste any more space. 
JANUARY 26th 
Awakened this morning to another of those 
gorgeous sunrises that are fairly common here. I 
went to breakfast and had my morale boosted 
further by enjoying two fried eggs and some good 
coffee for a change! Afterwards I began a 
vigorous morning's work of cleaning guns. The 
gun case was collecting quite a quantity of dust, so 
I also cleaned it thoroughly. Our ammunition 
supply and cleaning materials were getting low so I 
secured a jeep and drove out to our Ordnance 
shack at the line and picked up a good supply of 
this equipment. It felt good to get out of camp for 
even a short time. Another movie this evening, 
"The Vanishing Virginian". It was a very good 
picture despite the fact that I saw it back in the 
States with Edna. I have just finished writing Edna 
and telling her that I have seen it again. I had a 
very sweet letter from her again today and I do 
hope that things are going as well as she tells me 
they are. 
JANUARY 27th 
Not too busy today. Bill Slater came in to clean his 
pistol and talked for about an hour reminiscing the 
old days at J.B. He is quite a talker but a very nice 
chap. We are planning on taking a trip sometime 
in the near future. Hit the jackpot on mail again 
today-three letters s from Edna, one from Mother 
and one from Bill. I have answered Edna's but 
spent too much time talking with Lynch and 
Hanson to take care if the rest. Our planes were to 
accompany the 110th Recco Squadron on a barge 
hunt today, but something intervened-it could not 
have been the weather as we have not had a more 
ideal day since we arrived here. 
JANUARY 28th 
Lynch was awakened at four a.m. this morning to 
go out to the line and load bombs-500 lbs. The 
fellow who awakened him woke me up first to find 
out which bunk Lynch slept in. As anyone could 
easily guess, I was not at all pleased! The ships 
took off shortly after daybreak and hit the Bogajim 
road again. Results of the mission have not been 
reported as yet. Chills and thrills! We had the 
"Voice of Terror" on the screen at our deluxe 
theater this evening. It was strictly a program 
picture with a little known cast and not too good a 
plot. 
JANUARY 29th 
The armorer's of the Squadron are really getting a 
work out as they had to load bombs very early 
again this morning and our planes went on another 
dive-bomb mission today. The target? Well, we 
have not heard as yet but did get the report that 
yesterday's raid was very effective and greatly 
aided the Aussie Infantry in their drive toward 
Madang. No mail today, but I had little difficulty 
in writing Edna this evening as I had her letters of 
the day before yesterday to discuss. 
JANUARY 30th 
Life is growing boresome here, as we are not 
having any more raids. Of course the moon is 
again in evidence, so I may find things more 
exciting now. I have just had a light days work 
today with few visitors to help me pass the time.  
Grassey took most of the afternoon off to wash 
his clothes. I did go over to Supply for a short 
time and talk with Phillips and Garber. Phil was 
practicing his card tricks as usual and had to pull 
several of them on me. He is actually good! No 
show, no nothing this evening. 
JANUARY 31st 
I have been very busy today drawing up and 
typing a "Gas Plan". This is one of the unpleasant 
duties we have to perform at each new base. A 
map of the camp and decontaminating Stations is 
also required, so I also started on these. Our 
planes were scheduled to make another strike at 
Wewak today but it was called off because of 
threatening weather. For entertainment, we have 
just returned from seeing "A Stranger In Town".  
Frank Morgan was the star with an excellent 
characterization of a judge of the Supreme Court 
badly in need of a rest. Naturally he became 
mixed up in quite an interesting small town 
political scandal involving grafters. A spirited 
young lawyer was guided to triumph under his 
wing and also had to marry the Judge's 
stenographer. It was humorous and slightly 
tragic- a well rounded out film, so that all of us 
enjoyed it.  
FEBRUARY 1st 1944 
An uneventful day with the exception of the fact 
that I received a grand box of cookies from Aunt 
Peg and Uncle Charlie! We have all been feasting 
on them today and I have but a few left. Also had 
a letter from Edna to brighten my thoughts. Been 
to Special Services for the past hour swinging the 
old golf club and looking through magazines. I 
returned to the tent a few minutes ago, became 
involved in an argument but no blows were 
struck, so I shall write Edna, then retire.  
FEBRUARY 2nd 
The elements were with us again today, the skies 
clear except for the inevitable clouds always 
lingering over the mountains. I have not noticed 
that usual large formation of bombers wending 
their way up the valley to seek out the enemy and 
hasten the end of this unwelcome turmoil. The 
planes in patrol this afternoon and evening were 
cutting patterns of interest across the skies- I stood 
and watched them for some time this evening. 
Movies this evening! We saw "Thank your Lucky 
Stars" It was quite a good picture-even Grassey 
liked it, and he is very critical in his opinions-has 
no appreciation of classical music or drama. 
 
TOO LATE FOR PROPER PLACEMENT 
Terence Geary To: dmb642@comcast.net  
Sent: Sunday, June 06, 2004 8:56 AM  
Subject: 7th FS I happened upon you site and saw 
the fatalities list, do you happen to have the serial's 
of the P-38's associated with the pilots who were 
lost. I have a rather large database (9000+) of P-38 
variants, all coming from there respective Aircraft 
Record Cards. For P-38's that are lost I am trying 
to match the plane and pilot.  
Any and all help most appreciated.  
Terence  
++++++++++++++++++ 
I'm trying to find information about my Uncle, 1st 
Lt Douglas Hart, 7th Fighter Squadron, 49th 
Fighter Group, service date 02/23/43-11/1945. I 
was able to get a few tidbits from St. Louis but not 
much. In a letter dated 11/44 Philippine Islands to 
my Mother, he talks about getting his first kill in 
his P-38. The Army declared him dead 11/19/45, 
but I'd like to know date he went MIA and where?  
 
Also, where can I get medals and patches? I do 
have Air Medal and Purple Heart, but nothing else.  
 
What did the Air Medal signify? It has an Oak 
Leaf Cluster. 
 
And lastly, does anyone remember him? I never 
knew him (born in 1946) 
but Mom named me after him. Both her Brothers 
were killed in WWII, Ernest in France on Aug. 
29, 1944. 
Best regards, 
Douglas P. Rome, Sr. 
4N576 Chateaugay Lane 
Elburn, Illinois 60119 
TEL: (630) 365-2204 
FAX: (630) 365-9082 
++++++++++++++++++  
 
 
CHAPLAINS COLUMN 
Old Faithful 
 
I know where you dwell, where Satan's throne is; 
you hold fast my name and you did not deny my 
faith even in the days of Antipas my witness, my 
faithful one, who was killed among you, where 
Satan dwells. REV. 2:13 
 
God sure gave me plenty of memories from my 
arctic trip. The moose by the side of the road, and 
elk that posed patiently for pictures we wanted to 
take.. But nothing impressed me as much as the 
arctic beauty. It reminded me of, you guessed it, 
Old Faithful. That geyser that just keeps shooting 
out of the ground. It is really something to see. 
This tower of water and steam, exploding out of 
the ground, high into the air, always at the same 
time intervals..  
 
We'd all like an Old Faithful of our own, so does 
God. He's looking for old faithful's he can count 
on. It's clear that a lot of the things we do wont 
impress God much, if at all. One trait that gets His 
attention and triggers blessing, is "faithfulness." 
Like our geyser, always there, doing what we're 
supposed to, and when you're supposed to do it. 
We all know folks who are the anchors of our life. 
To God, they are the folks He loves to reward.  
 
God doesn't value men/women for flashiness, nor 
friendliness, but for faithfulness. First Corinthians 
4:2, says, "It is required that those who have been 
given a trust must prove faithful." Notice! You 
don't have to be successful, only faithful. I think 
I've figured out the job description:"stay pure and 
show up." That pretty much says it. Keep pure and 
keep showing up. Paul put it this way in his final 
challenge to his son in the faith, Timothy, "Keep 
your head in all situations, endure hardship ... 
discharge all the duties of your ministry" (2 
Timothy 4:5).  
 
Faithfulness is so valuable because it's so rare. 
People only stick with a responsibility or a 
commitment as long as it feels good, or if it's fun, 
or until the novelty wears off, or they feel they're 
being treated right or appreciated. But our Lord 
modeled something much more noble. See your 
job through, even when everyone deserts you, you 
want out, or the world's against you. He is faithful 
and he wants faithfulness. Revelation tells us of 
his glorious appearance at His Second Coming, 
He will be the rider on the white horse who "is 
called Faithful and True" (Revelation 19:12).  
 
Move from one who's in and out of commitments 
to becoming one of God's "Old Faithful's." No 
matter how small your assignment, or tired you 
feel, unappreciated, or what the people say or do, 
stay faithful. It's an honor to be a man or woman 
about whom Almighty God can say, "I can count 
on him or her." He's looking for warriors who'll  
stay at their post, and everyone can depend on, 
they finish what they start. Hard? Remember that 
faithfulness is part of what the Bible describes as 
"the fruit of the Spirit" (Galatians 5:22). You can 
ask God to produce His faithfulness in you!  
 
When your Lord Jesus is at the finish line, He's 
not going to reward success: He's telling his heros, 
"Well done, good and faithful servant." Live for 
that, all you faithful warriors! 
 
 
 
 
ARCTIC BEAUTY 
 
 
STORIES 
 
Give the Little Woman What she wants ..... When 
Mike got home last night, his wife demanded that 
he take her out to some place expensive. So Mike 
took her to the gas station! 
++++++++++++++++++++++  
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A 
young man walked up to the bench and sat down. 
He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, 
red, orange, blue, and yellow The old man just 
stared. Every time the young man looked, the old 
man was staring. Finally, the young man said 
sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer? Never 
done anything wild in your life?" The old man 
smiled slyly and replied, "Got drunk once and had 
sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you 
were my son." 
+++++++++++++++ 
A business man got on an elevator in a tall 
building. When he entered the elevator, there was a  
blonde already inside and she greeted him by 
saying, "T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, 
"S-H-I-T." She looked at him, puzzled, and said, 
"T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark 
again by answering, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was 
trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest 
smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" 
another time. The man smiled back to her and  
once again answers "S-H-I-T." The blonde finally 
decided to explain things, and this time she said, 
"T-G-I-F. It means Thank Goodness It's Friday. 
Get it, duuhhh?" The man answered, "S-H-I-T - - - 
Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday." 
************************* 
WET-BACK ETHNIC 
 
Q: What Would You Call A Mexican Gigolo? A: 
Juan For The Money!  
 
Q: Why did the Mexican become so excited?  
A: He discovered he could use Right Guard under 
his left arm.  
 
Q: Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool 
ball?  
A: The harder you hit it the more English you get.  
 
Hernandez was recruited off the street to be in a 
police lineup on a rape case. When the police 
brought in the victim, Hernandez spoke up.  
"Yeah, that's her!"  
 
Q: Why don't Mexicans play hide and seek?  
A: Because no one will look for them.  
************************** 
A middle-aged executive was becoming 
increasingly irritated by the constant ribbing he 
was taking from the junior employees who 
couldn't resist making fun of his baldness.  
 
One morning, a particularly brash trainee had the 
gall to run his hand across the older man's 
gleaming head while loudly exclaiming: "Feels 
just like my wife's ass." With a look of genuine 
curiosity, the aging executive rubbed his hand 
across his head. "You're right," he said, "it does."  
******************* 
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other 
saggy boob?  
A: If we don't get some help soon, people are 
going to think we're nuts.  
 
A woman recently lost her husband. Their 
marriage had been a very lousy one, and she was 
relieved that he was finally gone. She had him 
cremated and brought his ashes home.  
 
Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him 
out on the counter. Then she started talking to 
him, "You know that fur coat you promised me?" 
She answered by saying, "I bought it with the 
insurance money!" She then said, "Remember that 
new car you promised me?" She answered again 
saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance 
money!"  
 
+++++++++++++++++++++ 
This was written by a third grader. Enjoy!!!!!!!!! 
 
GRANDMOTHER.................. 
 
A grandmother is a lady who has no children of 
her own. She likes other peoples little girls. A 
grandfather is a man grandmother. He goes for 
walks with the boys, and they talk about fishing 
and tractors, and like that. Grandma's don't have 
anything to do except be there. They are old, so 
they shouldn't play hard or run. It is enough if they 
drive us to market where the pretend horse is, and 
have lots of dimes ready. Or if they take us for 
walks, they should slow down past things like 
leaves or caterpillars. 
 
They should never say, "hurry up." Usually they 
are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes. They wear 
glasses and funny underwear. They can take their 
teeth and gums off. It is better if they 
don't have to be smart only answer questions like 
why do dogs hate cats, and how come God isn't 
married. They don't talk baby talk like visitors do 
because it is hard to understand. When they read to 
us they don't skip or mind if it is the same story 
again. Everyone should try to have one especially 
if you don't have television, because grandma's are 
the only grown-ups who have got time. 
+++++++++++++++ 
Senior personal ads seen in Florida newspapers:  
(Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?)  
 
FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious 
blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 
5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing 
companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.  
 
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow 
who has just buried fourth husband, and am 
looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.  
Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a 
problem.  
 
SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, 
sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you  
are the silent type, let's get together, take our 
hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.  
 
WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with 
original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share 
rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.  
 
BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still 
like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights 
and still like to play the guitar. If you were a  
groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen let's get 
together and listen to my eight-track tapes.  
 
MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday 
through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, 
Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads 
together.  
 
MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, 
good condition, some hair, many new parts 
including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in 
running condition, but walks well.  
+++++++++++++++++++++ 
The chains of habit are generally too small to be 
felt until they are too strong to be broken. Samuel 
Johnson. 
++++++++++++++ 
Our service to God is based on what he has done 
for us.  
++++++++++++ 
In a birth, there are two items that are needed. 
1. Conception is required.' 
2. A continuation is required. 
++++++++++++++++ 
I stopped off to have lunch at a small town diner. 
When I asked the waitress for her secret of her 
cheerful attitude, she said, "I believe in being a 
'doer,' not a 'don'ter.'" 
Now! I like that. When I am being negative 
instead of positive, I will do the following. 
1. Do pray for my fiends and family, including 
myself. 
2. Do smile at those I meet and say something 
cheerful. 
3. Do work each day to the best of my ability, 
turning my worries over to the Lord- 
4. Do marvel at the beauty of God's world. 
+++++++++++++++++ 
*My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. 
* My wife and I were happy for twenty years. 
Then we met. 
* A good wife always forgives her husband when 
she's wrong. 
* I was married by a judge. I should have asked 
for a jury. 
* What's the difference between a boyfriend and a 
husband? About 30 pounds. 
 
 
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